Argument of Narration

Her skin was pale alabaster, and soft as silk. Her hair was as dark waterfall over her face.

-Why alabaster? Why not pale white?

Because alabaster sounds better than corpse white.

-Shes really more of a beige color, and her hair is more like silk than her skin is.

Its imagery you idiot.

-Well you’re not doing a very good job of it. You haven’t even mentioned the blood yet.

I was getting there.

-Why wasn’t it the first thing you said, there is a lot of it.

I was trying to give the reader some security… I couldn’t very well start with there was blood everywhere and this body is impaled on a shattered stairwell railing. That would scare people off.

-So its a trap?

No, its not a trap.

-Oh here look at this pretty lady, boom horror and gore! Got ya! I get it.

That was not my intention, I wanted them to know that she wasn’t just some old lady, they need to know she was young and beautiful and her life was tragically cut short.

-Like they wouldn’t care if she was old and ugly? They might draw some conclusions other than murder from that. They would care if her grandchildren found her that way.

That’s terrible.

-Not as terrible as what you’re doing.

Its much worse, I mean shes not even really dead. She is but shes not.

-How can she not be dead there is a railing spoke all the way through her body. If you’re going to say a vampire shame on you.

Define vampire.

-Undead, drinks blood, fears sunlight.

She’s not a vampire.

-A zombie then?

No of course not. She is not a bug eaten rotting corpse. She’s immortal.

-How did she get to be immortal?

She just is, I’m the writer I can do that.

-Well why did you have to put up this gory scene?

She has to have a reason for vengeance against the people who tried to kill her.

-Why would she care if she can’t die?

Didn’t you think this was too much blood for one person? And I bet you didn’t notice the drag marks out the door. She wasn’t the only one here you boob.

-Ooh tantalizing. Who did they drag off? Her lover? Her kid? Her grandmother? I bet this is another trap.

It’s not, if you let me actually write I could tell them what was going on. All I’ve gotten out is a hazy two sentences for setting the scene, and you’ve spoiled the rest.

-Totally her lover, who is not an immortal yet.

Damn you! Quit spoiling the plot for them.

-You do realize that is a huge cliche. Like every immortal story ever has a lover who is a mortal.

Everyone loves a forbidden love story.

-Some forbidden loves are kind of gross… But I guess regular love stories are even more cliche.

Why are you doing this to me?

-Being critical is my specialty.

All I wanted was to write a short story where our heroine saves her love.

-There are a lot of better ways to do that than whatever this flowery nonsense was. And everything you are going to write is a recombining of ideas that everyone has heard a billion times before. People are going to be sick of it by the time they get to your version.

Just leave me alone, so I can make this poop story.

-Even you don’t think its any good, why even write it.

To get better, maybe the next one won’t be a cliche. Even if it is who cares if its good?

-What if its bad? Unoriginal, a repeat of work you and everyone else has already produced. Love wins out in the end. Happily ever after.

They’ve been done so many times because people like happy endings, where love wins out in the end.

-But its been done to death.

Fine, she not immortal, its only here blood on the walls, and the floors. Shes dead, her hair isn’t a shining waterfall of auburn. Its matted and stringy with blood and sweat. Her eyes are bruised and bloodshot, sinking into her skull with death. Her lips are caked with blood, and her teeth are broken. Her arms are not pure white but black and blue with bruises. Blue spider veins show through her skin where they aren’t already broken. Her neck has hand marks around it, clear yellow and green fingers. She was murdered by the person she thought loved her most.

-Her husband?


-Her son?

Nope, I’ll give you one more guess.

-Her grandmother.


-Well then who was it?

Us, the writer.

-That’s dumb.

Well I wrote it, its done, her story’s over now.

-So she’s just dead now, and that’s where you’re ending it?


-No one is going to read that.

I don’t care. It’s done. That is her whole story. I created her and destroyed her in one paragraph.

-Does she have a family? What happens when someone finds her? Are their other people in the house?

Does it matter?

-Yeah! I mean you can’t just kill someone like that.

I thought happy endings were cliche?

-Well they are, but you can’t just leave a story like that.

Too bad that’s the end of her.


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Writing short stories and flash pieces.

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