She looked at the casket. So it was real, there was no denying it now. All the people in black and gray standing around sniffling, clutching tissues and talking quietly. She couldn’t bring herself to cry in front of the huge crowd. She hugged friends that she hadn’t seen in years.
It would have only been two months until they had seen each other again. They were both so excited. But now there was a gaping void. She looked at the people all around her. There were very few who had known her for as long, they were the ones who understood. They had been friends since they were three. The kind of friendship that doesn’t need constant updates.
Stone faced she looked at the casket wit her best friend inside. She looked peaceful, the bruises from the accident hidden under heavy makeup. She knew her friends beautiful green eyes were super glued shut. Her friends mouth carefully designed into a line, nothing like the goofy smiles that she remembered.
One the room had cleared she turned and buried her face into a shoulder and sobbed. Leaving the room meant that she would never see that face again.
A month later she visited her friends grave, there was no headstone marker yet. A confusing plot number led to hours of searching. She left the birthday flowers near a tree, not sure exactly where to put them.
She tried to reconcile the feelings, the sadness that would rise up like the tide. Even the most happy occasions were tainted by her absence. Her wedding shower was missing people she dearly cared about.
The stabbing sadness came less often, but it never stopped. She didn’t want to stop the memories from coming back.