Her heart stopped looking at it. She couldn’t stop staring. Her hands shook. This couldn’t be happening. Not now, not ever, this is not how it was supposed to be. She touched the hand, cold now. Tears welled and spilled over drenching her cheeks. Sobs wracked her body, great convulsions and gasps. The pain sliced through her through her very soul. She couldn’t even explain what happened.
People were starting to gather around her. They asked her questions she didn’t have answers to. All she could do was cry. Police officers gathered her up and put her in a car. They asked her questions she couldn’t even comprehend. They took her home.
Every memory she had played through her head. Playing outside as kids, borrowing each other’s things, laughing, fighting, every stupid thing ever said. She wished it had never happened, that she could go back and stop it. But she couldn’t and it broke her heart.
Every night she dreamed, some hellish nightmares, others wishful dreams. Part of her wanted them to stop, the other part clung to them like a lifeline. She wondered if the pain in her heart would ever stop. Sometimes she was reduced to tears out of nowhere, some small insignificant thing had transported her back to that day. It made her feel weak and vulnerable. It was like every second the string she balanced on was about to break.
She couldn’t remember what happened that night until she couldn’t escape from it.